Countdown starts…Tick! Tick! Tick!

After a hectic college day, back home with a cup of coffee in hand and a soothing music in the background as I glanced through my mailbox, I saw the status message of one of my classmates which read “10 days to go” and it created a lump in my throat. Yeah only ten more days to go before drawing my college life to a close. You would have by this time stereotyped me as someone who is unduly pessimistic, one who always vehemently rails against something at all times, complains about silly issues (exams I mean). After all the rants, belabors and tension that a PG college life can give, it will always remain nostalgic bringing alive the poignant memories, reminiscing both the good and bad moments encountered, lived.

If I bottle up my feelings and defer it till the tenth day, I am sure I will loose the competitive advantage of being the first one in my class to write on the college life. Now that I have started one, I don’t mind even if others follow suit and parrot my words.

As I write this post, I am reminded of the lyrics from my thalaivar, the legend Kamal’s film Guna (enni paarkayil kavidhai kottudhu...adhai ezhudha ninaikkayil varthai muttudhu) I am struggling for want of words to describe my college days.

Enumerating all the incidents of college life will take at least a few MBs of scarce computer memory, so let me confine myself to the collection of a few light moments epitomized by humour.

When it comes to lectures, I am being tested for my patience at college by listening to a few which extends to 3 hrs each by knowledgeable professors who are keen to see us becoming consummate management professionals out in the industry. I have listened to a few interesting ones. Period. But I feel guilty for having paid scant attention to a few boring lectures, super boring lengthy case studies and the list goes on. I cannot be good at all times, you see.

All I have done is that I have mastered the art of daydreaming with eyes wide open. There have been various instances of me falling asleep also. The process starts with my eyesight becoming blurred, eyelids drooping and finally having a brief rendezvous with sleep and waking up to see my notes, trying to make sense out of it and going haywire and asking my friend by my side “Did the previous slide really contain these stuff?” and peep into her notes and she greeting me with a bizarre look and asking “Thoongittiya? (Did u sleep?)”. Believe me I had even gone to the stage of browsing to find out how to keep myself awake during lengthy lectures. We are back with the master plan and it goes like this, whenever we find the lecture not so interesting, we play cross and knots, think of the black forest ice-cream and water our mouth etc etc. Most of the class does the same except a few first benchers. As time goes on many become restless, keep glancing at watches and dropping things down. But one thing that constantly haunts me is that how professors could stand all these indifference at class and still continue with their commitment to teach being stopped only by the power cut at sharp 12 noon ( its been programmed I guess, some student must have bribed the person in charge). Now that we have only a few classes to attend before the semester breaks, I am a bit worried. The guilty conscience pricks me.

When it comes to presentations, the thing which I haven’t even dreamt that I ll ever do in my lifetime, I am a little jubilant about it now. I am really happy that I could overcome the fear. Worse still is that my friends are happy when I go and present something, not because of my presentation skill (don’t know If I really have one) but they can be free at least for the next 30 mins.

The assignment part is even worse. Lethargy, procrastination and what not. All these will motivate us not to submit on time though there is a little leeway allowed by our kind professors.

Keeping all these at bay, we still find time to rejuvenate ourselves. Birthday celebrations, cutting cakes, traditional day celebrations, friendly ridicules, self established groups and now the approaching management fest which gives a chance to leave our footprints. All these keep us going. We are looking forward to the approaching zeroth hour, the last day in college where there would be photograph and autograph sessions. But what next? Will there be rejoicing moments like these college days anymore...Gonna miss all.I would take this as an opportunity to thank all my friends and professors who made my college days worth remembering.

Years from now when I look back, all these will turn to be a fine nostalgia. Let the memories speak for itself.

Exams Exams !!!

Let me first give you a heads up that what follows is not my view on the recent controversy over the Exams “Should board exams be banned?” I am not inclined to revamp the education system that is prevalent today. Kapil Sibal is there to take care of it. I am here just to vent my feelings on the “EXAMS”, the devastating effects of it and the course of trauma incidental to that.

For the past one week I am in a state of introspection, mulling over few questions “What bothers me so much?” “Why do I look like a deflated tyre losing all charisma and charm?” I am afraid I am shedding my serenity and moving to the profanity zone. And now I am back with the discovery of the genesis of my present state. Hurray! I found where it all started. The recent mid semester exams have taken away the smile in me. The chronic illness characterized by nausea, fatigue, mental imbalance, head ache, the temporary blues of depression is called the Exam fever. I am a victim of it. It has left me in utter shambles. What I am now is the debris remains of a fiasco called Exam.

Exams ruin the lives of many, if not the entire life, atleast a few constructive man hours of lives. Yours truly is no exception. I am not a goody goody to talk only on the topics that suits my calibre, a profession where you talk on business, strategies, tactics, ethics and what not. Nothing would deter me from articulating my feelings.

I start feeling the symptoms of exam fever a week before the exams. I am a bundle of nerves on the day of the exams. I see my fellow classmates cramming with the goal of getting good marks and to have a cut above others. There is so much hype and hoopla about the questions that stand a high chance of being asked. I fall a prey to it. After all my hard study, last minute cramming and burning the midnight oil, when I walk into the exam hall my mind goes blank. I feel that the brain stopped working all of a sudden. The worst part of the story comes now...When I read the question, a callout appears ,with a thinking bubble “hey, was it not the question I answered for yesterday’s test?..Oh my god!”. And finally I manage to complete the paper with a cocktail kind of stuff, a mix and match of all the subjects.

The aftermath of giving exams is even more terrible. It sucks my blood. Reaps my soul. I move into a state of paranoia, feeling that everybody (professors who set the paper) hates me. The feeling that I have not prepared enough hurts. It hurts more when I am not able to present what I have prepared well. Sixteen years of formal education didn't teach me enough how to get rid of the phobia.

I hate to belabor on the simple issue of exams but the excruciating pain that I underwent recently made me rant on it so that I could let off a bit of steam from my head. But now I am back to my resilience mode to meet the hurdles of life. There is a ray of positive hope. So hope to be back with a cheerful post.